da’ quest of conquering FEAR in ones life

well, my last prolific lol…post-it… i did here, spent 30 minutes on an it did not save so for another day i assume i shall have to re-write. Such as life in Q’s werld.. 🙂 So: This post-it is bout the quest of conquering FEAR in ones life!….well, best i can come up with here off da’ cuff @ 3 am lol. 🙂

Q sayz? …….do i? did i? will I? can I? should I? could I? would I? er well, what should one do when cunfused sayz da’ Q…Q? well, dat is well, da’ quantum equation thats makes it all werthwhile..when ya find the questions will ya see or hear the answers an then there is the next question, an whats it matter? an when ya get 20 answers which one is the right choice of things to do? gewd – bad – er indifferent! ?

Will it matter in 100 yearz?
does it matter? did it evr ? an should it once again? round the rosey rosey complex of the fragmented mind. creations/vs/reactions…..well if ur not familiar with what; i am talkin bout I am talkin bout the “thinkin disease” or the paradox of the over active mind that cannot be controlled? or thinks too much bout too much too often… {the analyze this complex} .an can’t figure out why most of the time? an what to do bout it? .. alot of the time the minds like this {like mine used to be} and are suffering frum fear memories when one gets down to the bottom of the analysis..an well, what is the solution? an is there an answer? they ask? well, yes indeed says da’ Q…….an to find da’ answers one might even go back to when they were way way young!

an the child chose dat special rock jest for U!

it’s a one day @ a time process to realize sumtimes that some drugs an alcohol have twisted ones mind…well that is; if ‘n ur like me an finally have hard fought for sobriety after many years of tormoulchulous drinking …after 26 plus years of drinkin’ i now got almost 20 years…sober alcohol free…wowza how my life has changed for the better since i quit escaping my very own personal reality wit booze…..

but not always sumtimes; it got werse an the challenges were harder , sumtimes i jest wanted to go back to drinkin’, but well, i thought drinkin’ would be the death of me! so i didn’t…only thinkin that did stop me frum drinking was fear itself???!!! how funny! so i used the force of negativity an fear i had in my heart, through meetings etc etc an all in my life to possess fear a hatred for alcohol that it kept me frum drinking…but eventually it caused lotsa stinkin thinkin! an reinforced the fear!
well in the end that wasn’t good for my soul because i still had what caused the alcoholism in the furst place…guess what that was .LOL..

……….

FEAR!
EXACTLY..
THE SAME FEAR YES – FEAR BASED THINKING!!!!
a FORCE I USED TO GET CLEAN
was the force that was still fucking me up mentally..
an boy that has been the ultimate challenge to conquer!…
Then well after bout 10 years of being alcohol free i had to spend the next 10 years learning not to have fear based thinking as a way of thinking.They also taught me that in sobriety lol…..
is a hard thing to explain to people, so is another reason why i started an created this blog werld, so when anyone ever asked me what i meant by that i could jest lead them to one of my articles bout it lol…then i would not have to re-peat forever what i previously thought bout the specific things, an i could be freer an move on with my life without having to always go back in time……so ultimately, i would write what i thought, leave the rest behind an go forward to a new better future without denying the past or judging it or miss judging it also…

so! it has werked for me an has been quite a progression…a few things also come up over an over in my werld like…

crashing is not an option….an

…change the way ya think an the werld will change….

an think b 4 u act…

an dont’t belayte.

an a realization a day keeps the doctor away…

one step @ a time –

one day @ a time …. etc etc etc etc……

well all thoughts are gewd thoughts to live by once ya’ engrain good thoughts in the brain the way i see it…but well, if ur brain still has the same ol’ thoughts that caused the strain in the furst place ur jest going back in time over an over an need to jump out of that program an into a better one for urself …is bout the end of that story..is like when aa stops werkin for ya but ya want to stay sober u will find a better cause an won’t need aa anymore etc etc..jest an example..always finding a better cause for the next best step if u are moving forward in life an are not wishing to jest stagnate where ya are in the routine ur stuck in, whatevr that might be…for some they are victims to the werld they create,,,some are warriors, some are fighters, some are haters,, some are runners…, some are lovers, BUT.. everyone has a different way of doing it what i am saying is; no ON WAY is the only an best way! There are always multitudes of options an well, it is always up to U whether ya make the next best right choice at any particular junction in life…if u did not then u can always change ur direction the way i see it…

am i makin any sense ? well to many i am an to many more i am not…so i can only hope to make sense to the ones that matters right now…an hope to make sense for the ones to matter in the future that care to think an article bout staying sober matters or not! lol
whatevr it matters an however ..enjoy ur week an er night er day er whenevr u read this,,,whatevr it is ,,,jest get up off ur arse an do something constructive…4 ur self an another an well,,,,it might make ur day feel a bit better..Much better than watchin’ tv er sitting on the internet..unless ur reading some juicy provocative mind blowing stuff er whatnot..when done go play an play fair..an have a good one!…jest help urself stay sane an forget bout the force of fear!!!!!! an the past!….all i gotz to say 2 day!………
Keep on keepin on !
…..may all of ur tomorrows become ur kewl ………….yesterdays…………

in da’ many  days of da’ future past!

… PS: keep dreamin an wishin an hopin’ …
for deep down inside…

Because!
A dream is only a wish the heart makes!
… QQQQQ …

🙂