Know thyself – cuz Ya Never Know!

moving-forward
  So whats the point he said she said??? there are 2 many points to this subjekT! lol.
although it is mostly bout what one loves…whatevr that is!…

Ten years ago i loved what i thought was an angel ? only to find out after months that the angel loved the devil more than life itself…what do i mean buy the devil..”D evil” well to me definition of EVIL is simply ..anything that is opposite to LIVE in thinking..an well the “devil;” lol..has to be …against lived.or da’ live…….

then 3 years laters the same kind of scenario trips up my life to no end….by another so-called angel, one i have a hard time forgiving for not being an honest human an taking me for Time, energy, money, direction and sending me into a downward spiral emotionally for years! 😦 Yeah that was love ……I am still today at this moment paying for that wunderful adventure….guess i was cheap entertainment 4 a year o the internet, an a few months sex for her…whatevr is all i can say now…cuz i have to accept that there are people who are against live….an all out for themselves in evry way? money wise though being the most important to these kinda lovers it is more important than all the fears that they behold in life$$$$…..so much for angels…..
So, point of this is one thing . “YA NEVER KNOW” bout anything or anybody really truly.i did not choose for them to be selfish or greedy or to rip me off for cash an time an life an emotions whatever 4?..or do ya bout them?..? or do we jest have to make better choices? wtf? i do not know what the answer is but my present relationship does not exhibit or even come close to or have any tendencies to be against live…an definitely is not against lived, because her lived is what makes her that person that she is today!…..

well one in many millions to me my lady is…nothing of the sort or kind against live…wtf for she says…why be against ur life? an if ya are well ur close to suicide…i guess…anyhow an against live Evil…why be that now when what we have lived brought us to be who we are today? why join up with the “devil” against lived an whom is Evil? …..what on earth for really? $$$$$ in the end with these greedy selfish people…they do not care what the causal effects of their taking frum u for their own personal benefit…very cold an self centered in my book of life ..unto death when we part! yep!…as they walk round talking bout how they notice all the self centered people etc etc? like wtf..Hippocratic to the max i see in so many people these days…hurting on others? finding humor in it an then saying they are innocent in all their false judgements an taking frum ya?…

BACK 2 the POINT! YA NEVER KNOW!….I simply want to live an love …simple right…..LIFE!

what is it ya never know…well, lotsa things in this life of pomp an circumstance, good choices vs. bad etc etc fate er destiny? which is it an why? YA WILL PROLLY never know where ya come frum really….other than jest one thing really …love an desire to live! that’s bout it!…other than that ya prolly will never know ? when fate ? destiny? luck bad er good? or pomp or circumstance by being in the wrong place at the wrong time??? Fact; some things an people in my life will be part of my infinity 4 one reason er another!

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WELL? YA NEVR KNOW …BOUT ANY OF THAT IT JEST IS WHAT IT IS AN WILL BE WHAT IT IS ALSO? MY point is a LOT OF IT IS SIMPLY ABOUT CHOICE; why should human being be so inconsiderate to others as to take a child of theirs away frum them an not ever let that child see them after 6 years of life? moving to another part of the state? an disappear…but on the back side of life stalk ya for $$$?.an reprogram the child with nonsense!….why would sumeone go nuts an kill my lady and her father an rape her an steal car an money an drive off 500 miles away to then kill a group of 4 in a campground ???wtf? then when they find this guy an pull him over he puts his cig out in the middle of his forehead? before they take him off to jail? nope he wasn’t drunk or on drugs either ..jest a crazy who should not have been let out on parole but was an ex-murder who should have never been let out? as far as i am concerned in the furst place ..system failure to me…an welp is bout it..the whole good system is collapsing upon itself cuza the bad? is a trip how society as a whole don’t want to get a grip an get along, truly sad really……so wtf is what i am saying to U today is ya NEVER KNOW when shit will or can happen in ur life…My experience though is that if ya fear the crazy people they will be attracted to ya…so HAVE NO FEAR! ..most important though is one has to KNOW THYSELF an be able to get a grip when crazy shit does happen in their life…….
Why would someone intoxicated to the max choose to take a drive with the 4 year old in the car to the races! lol. such alcoholic stupity auctually!..@ well @ i know by personal experience an everyones is different because of choices of habits..once again i choose today LOVE instead of fear!..(an alcoholism).(escapisms) an ism’s in general!
but really ! Ya NEVER KNOW ..either after the habits ya might choose in life what will become of it or because of the HABIT! everything bout ya changes 4 ever…cosmic cosmology in a sense to me is where one recognizes that happening in their life! that is to be lived! once ya turn round ur perception and analysis an stop being a selfish human as the doers that hurt ya well, ya see the HABITS one chooses are of most important to their very own existence an life itself! in all and every ways everything is bout HABIT! an choosing the correct ones…ya only got so much room in ur brain an so much time in ur life so depending upon the HABITS u choose is what will become the outcome in this standpoint alone…..

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So on that note well, i have in my lifetime learned to choose certain habits that were good for me rather than badhabits that were good for me rather than bad! habits like my addiction to flying, driving, Riding an experiencing FUN things….an doing my photography,..to old to scare the shit out of myself an rock climb though lol…been there done that badge..an i got hurt more than once doing it…so having an addictive personality an having healthy habits is a good thing! in Q’s book of life….over the years i have traded my BAD habits for so called better or gooder habits lol…as a child would say!…an for that fact i am grateful ..i have chosen to not disengage frum my personal reality anymore..which i did every day 4 about 26 years as a functioning alcoholic an businessman in the worlds workforce…if i would have continued that HABIT of drinking i would have killed my self or another doing it …having to come to terms with that an quit was hard..very hard…but well, i am alive today because i do not drink..an as a result i can still fly my ultralight or drive my car or ryde my motorcycle to my hearts delight @ long @ i don’t get sick over my latest adventure with dis-ease an the bodys malfunction.my (PKD)..so is a dna flip and a genetic flaw they say that causes mine…as with many debilitating diseases, they are all jest a genetic flip…with different causes of symptom in different places based upon the flip…for 10 years now i have had my kidneys failing in a bad way an knew it ..they the kidneys in my abdomen are bout 4 times the size of the normal persons kidneys..maybe 5…covered with polycysts they are…an the cycts are spread all over in my abdomen also???oh did i say it hurts? …well has come to the point of dialysis…in my werld…an thats a whole nother post it…
THE point of this post it was to give preponderance to the fact that well….YA NEVER KNOW! ….bout anything really or anybody! as la live learn an grow ya know better..but that does not save ya frum the THEN…an point of that is ya forgive the THEN so ya can live in the now! even if someone ya knew 5 10 er 20 years ago is still negatively affecting ur mind with negative energy 😦

IT’S ALL IN UR MIND YES INDEED!!!!
SO KEEP THE GOOD, IS ALL I CAN SAY….when in recovery..because…

YA NEVR KNOW!…….

all i can say is one should always keep hope in their higher power within themselves to pull them thru if they really want to get thru it..it is really tough ? indeed it is a lot to accept that some people are simply selfishly programmed an so addicted to their programming that they will never change…bred by fear live by fear so to say….therefore that is not love an my objektive as of late is one thing LOVE….an well till i die i am going to live my very own version of the great american dream…an hopefully fly an ryde an well, live an have fun with my love, an simply experience a few good fun things in life instead of focusing on the bad an the past …

CUZ YA KNOW WHAT FOLKS “IT JEST IS WHAT IT IS “! WHAT EVER IT IS NOW…..GOT TO ACCEPT THAT AN MOVE ON FRUM THERE.

OVER AN OUT FRUM THE Q

Hangin in Dere

 Explanation of the Densities beyond ‘normal’ human consciousness is another question though..and also the destinies too!…as one forever calls one back, over and over and , well there is no answer TO MY CALL BACK  jest infitile invisibility……..ah, but if life was only bout honor an truth an dignity huh!…an i even said Please 🙂 anyhow i jest remain hanging in there….with limbo ….the answer 2 my callz :(…

 🙂 Well……heres to Lewkin’ @ You Kiddo…………. 🙂

 

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iam going to stay with the theme of the moth beign Halloweed month here: below is a post frum Angies werld she said once upon a tyme was a poem an post towards me,,,ever since i been trying to call her back now to now avail….well such as life i guess,,,The title of the aformentioned blog was

 Call Me Back

I am with you only

like pensive cries of the panther

in a far country

patrolling raw ruins of forests

I am with you only

as fair lily is with summer

in a far country

where snow is an imagination

I am with you only

driftwood upon a green sea foam

in a far country

where I dream hearts’ confluence

Please call me back

as a flute player serenading

for my cobra energy

heart core of fire unexplored

Please call me back

as volcanic earth surges sing

for my cobra energy

solar flares calling to your sun

Please call me back

so together we break our hearts

for my cobra energy

bewitch us beyond death’s black moon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

below here i am posting this vid of angelas on account of my broken cobra heart

all but for her cobra energy to all but consume because she my angel decided to become

OUT OF ORDER:)

Days after i am told i am her Embryonic star 🙂

so since i feel like i live within her fairy tale for the last years of my life and the guy that hangs out waiting for my apparent Destiny? or is it Fate? heck i don’t know anymore. anyhow her stuff is jest too kewl for skewl and i don’t share enuff of it 🙂 so here ya go :

ANGELA’S YOUTUBE FOR HER ART

Rage for Order Neue Regel

Well, tonight as i swam lap after lap for my physical therapy and mental therapy also,Like sum kinna fatal dream it is……

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i kept thinking of this album still, Rage for Order, something i guess i desire in my disordered 2 person life i attempt to live as one person, is a trip but is what it is, promises fortold and promised were never honored so i am left out in the cold not sure how to deal monday when i arise auctually, till then i can only pray LoL{wait} and think, not funny, but is what it is,,,,When someone else has a stranglehold what can one do? Not sure what the answer really is to that either cuz i seem to be jest a pawn in some adolescent game now:( is not the way i envisioned a love life of mine to be to me 5 years ago, fete?destiny? er well jest plain actions of another and my choices as a result to hang in there no matter what has led me to this point, am sad though when i read blogs bout someoner loosing their whole house to the floods in the lowlands here in Colorado, may miracles find their way to those in need today is all i can say.over and out Q

PS: feel like i did when i was a kid on the swimteam again, have swam almost 2 miles this week alone now:)..feels good and no chlorine either is mineral water, good for the skin also…have a great Sunday everyone Q

Reach for a new horizon
Setting sights on a circuit scream
Hail the new arrival on
Static signs from a distant wanderer
Fill the air nights are never seen
Face the electric time shock now
No it’s not a dream anymore

I will light the way for us to find
Order of a new kind
Join us on the stay the road is mine
Poets line in a rhyme of silence
Gathered from the winter air
Warms the children’s eyes they see
The time is near for the signs

I can hear the chimes
Ringing for you for me
I can see your eyes
Your hands joining with me
I can feel its time
Come together hold the light
Keep the flame we can’t let this world remain
the same

I can hear the chimes
Ringing for you for me
I can see your eyes
Your hands joining with me
I can feel it’s time
It’s time for the world to hear
Neue Regel is here

Apple of my Minds Eye

Blue Dayz in Paradise?:
is LIKE A YUCKY
BLOG
ya get when
da
APPLE OF UR EYE
SAYS & DISPLAYS THEY DON”T CARE!

a big giant Deja Vu
*

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?so who is who?
*
Howzit everytime ?

HE GETS READY TO MAKE A BIG PLAY

ON HER BEHALF
SHE KILLS OUT?
IS IT HER OWN PERSONAL SATISFACTION?
AND WHAT IS TO GAIN?
ONE WILL NEVER KNOW?
HOW JELOUSY AND DECeiT
PLAYS SUCH A GREAT PART?

do we choose to
CREATE – ER
REACT FALSELY

REMINDS ME OF A BLOG OF CROW’S ONCE
BOUT WHEN YA JEST GONNA GET THERE

“THE GREAT DECEIVER “

WILL TAKE YA OUT?
for those who don’t believe in shamAnism
be what it be
be it so
i could care not

BUT IN A WAY DO
JEST SAY OH WELL
WHAT CAN ONE DO?

What is ur rock solid core Belief System You have put in play!?

~so~

? IN MY BOOK ? IS WHY?
WHO GETS SATISFACTION BY BEING DECEIVED?

Yep thats it folks Satisfaction🙂
A CRAZY NOTION HUH!
LOL
and
WHY ON EARTH
WOULD YA WANT TO

DECEIVE THOSE YA SAY YA LOVE....?
IS WAY BEYONDS’T ME?

Not the werd of my day …

Satisfaction
I could never recieve satisfaction
by being like lucy?:(
Fer it’d break my heart!


fOR i AM NEVER sATASFIED WHEN THE BALL IS PULLED FROM ME:(
AND i LAND Flat on my back in pain and misery
nOW I HAVE NOT A CLUE WHY?
for that was
not
MY CHOICE!

ALL ONE CAN DO IS TRY NOT TO BE TOO SAD
AS TO DRIVE ONE TO MAKING MISTAKES OR RUIN
*

EVEN IF TEARS DO BLIND UR WAY
YA GOT TO USE THE WIPERS

AND TRY TO FIND UR WAY ACROSS THE DAY FROM
THIS SEA OF PAIN

tomorrow is a new day!
*
AND BACK TO YOUR OWN DESTINY

what I thought i had found was my eternity?
WITH MY OWn OWN LIFE! an hers also !@

one that knew
what
Unconditional LOVE WAS!

with infinite possibilitys!
and wants and needs etc etc
and knows the difference between wants needs and desires

A LIFE WITOUT STRIFE
WITHOUT STRIFE!
YES A LIFE WITHOUT STRIFE?

a life with a new wife?

A LIFE WITHOUT FEAR!

AH WHAT A GREAT ILLUSION THAT IS I GUESS
*

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would BearDog therapy help? i once wundered?hmmmm

OR MORE CHOICES?

for truth

NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY TO CREATE
AND HOW MANY TIMES I ASK HER TO HOLD THE

damn ball!

destiny? hmmm

************************************

Then Once AGAIN:)
either way!?

She jerks the ball
BEYOND ZERO POINT!

I see no reasons nope not one not!

cept
“the great deciever”
crow told me bout!

makes me sad
😦
and makes me back hurt also!
*
hope everyone else ain’t being deceived by lies and bullturdz today?

Q

OH AN PS:
to those in the know:) lol

and any of the other undelined links above
and so below lol:)
waz it all mean
U Tell me at the end of another day an year of Neglect and Denial…..

NAMASTE’
to one and allz
Q

PSS:
QUESTION UR ASSUMPTIONS AND PRE-CONCEIVED REALITYS TODAY!
YUP YUP^^^:)
QUESTION THEY MAY BE
HOLDING you back!

Brass Tacks Chapter 21

My questimation is like it might take ya as long to read this post

 as the video I have posted here:)…

b’cuz of a a piano God! 🙂

and an Angel

and this video is kinda primarily what I talk about in chapter 21:)

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~ Brass Tacks – Chapter 21~

There is a term, “when ya get down to the brass tacks of it all!” ….I have heard this one many times oveer the years…in cased in different texts of terminology to mean or describe different aspect of certain thingz…. In the end, at the end ? of a book, well if knowledge is kept then perception call always be seen, even in future events,….that whats been fortold to me anyhew……:)

OKay brass tacks…why they don’t rust and wither away I guess:)….they last a long time, so because it’s baan a long time, it’s taken me lotsa years to figure this one thing out!…… as i wither away on the back side of me eyelids every night, i think to the sand man and hope I ‘ll always be here another day, but I know thats impossible to keep up forever, i gonna try to keep it up for man years ahead, no matta what the pain, I am sure ther will be some kinda gain:)….as long as I wake up tomorrow!:) to BLACK:) b-4 I open me eyelids:)….and remember where I have been:) and re-member where i am going:)…

.hoping the master of puppets will help me along with every day:) …..So, to get to the bottom of the brass tacks and all one has to go through many chapters in ones life:) Seeming like there is a differnet difinition to each chapter that is lived….chapters not neccessarily being a specific set of years days or months.

 Some chapters are months long,,,,some are weeks lol..

…and some are years:)…chapters of ones life..

.{when ya get to be 50+ er so ya will know what I mean……all segmented and broken up to be the miost Important times in ones lives….Sumpin to maybe write about, not jest a vanity bewk but a book of another kind, determined to teach one who wishes to read a few lessons in life. A book bout Smart Decisions and bout bad decisions at the same time:)…some bad decisions that even became the smart decision because of the experience and the lesson learned:) Got to stay on track here fer the 21st time now….cuz 21st century speaking we{ as a race} have learned an enourmous amount of knowledge never expected or realized by many of the scholors of the past:)….

in a way those brilliant philisophers could imagine where we were headed they had no idea how to get there….but then guys like budda and christ and krishna came to show us that the christ is in one and all…right inside,,,,inside you and me:)…all ya got to do is believe!…..if ya don’t that’s ur choice…but I know what I know now and see what I see for being the truth that is hidden inside this daredevil self that I call me:)….

And oh yeah 🙂 ….it’s safe to be a daredevil if ya know tha limits that he puts upon ya 🙂 ….be it forces of spirit, nature, or wind and fire the weather,,,,It’s all the same 🙂 …… believe it not:)…if ya differ with me it’s okay….don’t matter to me anymore:)…I know what I know 🙂 ….but not quite like the master that plays this game 🙂 …the master of puppets 🙂 lol…will blog about that another day 🙂 it’s all a matter of perception – what the specific outcome will be 🙂 ….Kinda like flying and landing safe for me 🙂 …..is the beginning of the end of another grand day every time i do it:)…

~ SO gettin’ back to brass tacks and the expression I think it is only beffitting to end this part of chapter 21 knowing that the are 2 things:) 2 things & 2 things only that really exist when ya get to the bottom of the brass tacks of it all:) There are also only 2 choice in all of ur domain!!! and yes you and me have the power of choice, and the freedom to choose , because the higher order of creation told us thats what we could do:)…once upon a time when we realized who were it was buried by clouds of dust and and earthshakin’ like never before…making pillars of sand out of most of the world:)…now that some of it is washing away we can see some of the truths of the past coming to light{ another post another day}…but for now we stayin’ with what is :the brass tacks of it all

” back to only 2 things,

 2 things for every thought .

…2 things for every action:)..

…..not really an inbetween cuz it all has to start somewhere:)..

.As i so wholeheartly agree it has to start with thought:)…I believe thoughts are Thingz!!!!!!!!!” and well, it werks for me:)….. Back to 2 things!….. 2 things I have been talking bout since my first out of body experience while in body and conscious of it…believe it er not:)…

since that time in my life I realized many years ago that there was again these 2 things> 2 things separated from the one…the one atomic force that is within us all:) many different ways and descriptions of these 2 things also exist:)…many different interpretations:) determined and based upon perception:) and well even based on that we can’t ever get away from these 2 things for no matter whats sake in life

WHAT ARE THESE 2 THINGS?

THAT MAY BECOME 4 OR MORE?

 Is a perplexity that many do not ever overcome….

~~~~~~LOVE OR FEAR~~~~~~

 are the 2 things i am talkin bout:) Everything you think and do have to do with one or the other:)…… whats a prob is when people get the 2 mixed up, cuz ya can’t mix em up…it jest don’t jive in every day life ya see…to mix up these realitys:)to try to base one reality on both of these 2 things? positive or negative

*

 – FACT OR FALICY? TRUE OR FALSE? LOVE OR FEAR

 In every action IN every THOUGHT WE MAKE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE A CONSCIUOS CHOICE FOR ONE OR THE OTHER OF THESE 2 THINGZ… IF ? WE ARE A CONSCIOUS PERSON ON THIS PLANET WE HAVE TO ASK OURSELVES?…. IS THIS A FEAR BASED THOUGHT? OR A LOVE BASED THOUGHT? IS THIS A FEAR BASED ACTION OR A LOVE BASED ACTION? BUT SOME FIND THEY CAN AND ARE ABLE TO MAKE FEAR BASED REACTIONS OUT OF THE “ILOVE YOU” APPROACH TO LIFE AND THATS JEST NOT A FACT…

 If ya do that then ya are perplexing the smooth chaos that exists between these 2 things and mix em all up… In essence ya mix up the energys in ur field by truying to believe it is a love based action or set of werds when it is based upon fear based thoughts all the whil e i s jest ludicrious to me:) lol… but many do it:)….many can’t stay on the side of the fence they wish to they lif=ve on both sdides of reality:) Which is okay if ya can handle it i guess….to percieve it from both sides of the mind….both sides of the “mind of god” God knows all ya remember if ya believe in some sort of god in ur life:) and that all knowing god has a choice….. and shows ya both sides of ur reality simultainusly, and at many times in ur day, that mind inside lets u and u alone to make the choice:) FEAR or LOVE???????? I BELIEVE this is where ya have the choice from one of these 2 things…is what ya are thinkin right now positive or negative?

 is it based on fear or love?

 and which ones would ya like to be a representative of ur self with out going mad or crazy?

 For they are both “what they are” and it is what it is again:) love is love and fear is fear + is plus and – is negative:) they don’t like to mix:) but they can both be riding along side by side in symetry:)

 It’s ur choice whether or not and which ya chose when ya have thoughts or actions? are they fear based? or love based? all boils down to these 2 realitys:)

 IS THE BRASS TACKS OF IT ALL:)

the WAY I SEE:)

 HOPE YA UNDERSTOOD ME:)

 comin from this ol PIANO TARIUM:)

Well it is much better than a sanitarioum lol..

.. hope i didnt loose ya at the bakery

Jest Trying to get down to the” BRASS TACKS OF REALITY:)” may ur sandman treat U well this eve:)

 may ur dreams fade to black when ya arise:)

May The Master of Puppets:)

Sow ya the right way:)

 to make the right choice now:)

LOVE or FEAR – It’s UR CHOICE:)

NAMASTE’………..

frum Q