Intuitive mindwerks 4 treatment-resistant unipolar and bipolar major depression

Intuitive mindwerks lol. Indeed..do u suffer frum anxiety er depression? well come on a journey with me…an envision ur separate reality!..

frum da’ moment of inception!

Psychedelic psychotherapy works…- i can say having been there done that i can say so myself….werks for a variety of people with many different issues both mental an physical…

was sent this one today frum integrallife.com and they had Alex Greys Artwerk as a header …so, i decided to open a Alex folder here i have an share a few of his fantastic hand drawn artworks thru out this post. all art by alex grey, no, he does not use a computer ..he does all his stuff freehand …he is a visionary artist ….who does art shows all over the world – many of the paintings here were done over a couple of days at an art exhibition etc etc…live ..is pert amazing to me …anyhow jest of the story today is this….an that lol an an excuse top show off alex grey artwerk…to see more of his stuff see his website or jest type his name in ur browser an click on photos @ any major web server ..is pert amazing…alex grey artwerk that is ….an what a bita’ mindwerk will do fer ya………

……….. frum da’ mind above {she} came to me..2 help heal us!

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Many continue to think of lightworkers as being only those spiritually gifted individuals doing healing work, teaching, or channeling. This belief is a facet of the belief in separation for in truth everyone is a spiritual being and every activity becomes Lightwork when done with awakened eyes and ears.

~

Lightwork is the natural effect of an evolved state of consciousness, one that without conscious effort can lift the energy of those receptive. Even the most seemingly insignificant of daily interactions are Lightwork when they flow on energy streams of true Love and Light.
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so ……..
treatment-resistant unipolar and bipolar major depression is a dis-ease…that is curable!!!!.please…read on ….

………………………….she is hanging in dere’!…………………

Psychedelics have a long history in shamanistic ceremonies, transformational work, psychotherapy, and trauma treatment. When Albert Hofman accidentally discovered LSD in 1938, he set off a cascade of research and case studies. By the time the US war on drugs declared LSD illegal in 1968, the therapeutic community had generated thousands of articles about their usefulness in change work, transformational work, and treatment of trauma. depression an anxiousness.

when 2 become one lotsa healing occurs a devine union of souls!

Today psychedelic drugs like MDMA, ketamine, psilocybin, and Ayahuasca are being used by therapists and shamans around the world with promising results to treat PTSD as well as a variety of anxiety, depressive, chemical dependence, end of life, and trauma related disorders. As this research has become more mainstream, practitioners have been developing protocols for treatment–for example the California Institute for Integral Studies has developed a program to certify practitioners in facilitating psychedelic experiences.

In this episode, special guest Dr. Elliott Ingersoll joins Doctors Keith Witt and Mark Forman to share their personal and professional experiences with psychedelics while reviewing relevant research, current practices, and the amazing potentials of these treatments. Therapists need as many tools as possible to remediate symptoms, enhance health, and support development. The way we see it therapies utilizing psychedelics will become increasingly available and likely useful in the years to come.

Bobo, W.V., Voort, J. L., Croarkin, P. E., Leung, J. G., Tye, S. J., & Frye, M.A. (2016). Ketamine for treatment-resistant unipolar and bipolar major depression: Critical review and implications for clinical practice. Depression and Anxiety, 33, 698–710.

https://integrallife.com/psychedelics-in-psychotherapy/

Jest some food 4 thought 4 da’ day

  • an some kewl artwerk –

an a few blessings of love an light 2 ya!

dats all!

keep ur chin up an design the future u wish 2 see!

hopefully, best one can do anyhew..

over an out frum da’ Q

addendumm:::

Alex Grey (born November 29, 1953) is an American visionary artist, author, teacher, and Vajrayana practitioner. His body of work spans a variety of forms including performance art, process art, installation art, sculpture, visionary art, and painting. Grey is a member of the Integral Institute. He is also on the board of advisors for the Center for Cognitive Liberty and Ethics, and is the Chair of Wisdom University’s Sacred Art Department. He and his wife Allyson Grey are the co-founders of The Chapel of Sacred Mirrors (CoSM), a non-profit church supporting Visionary Culture in Wappingers Falls, New York.

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Paradoxical Choices and old Habits

When one in their own mind makes a choice…they can sometimes feel…

stop thinkin stop time!…. nope is what it is!? so have a good time! whatevr u do!

overwhelmed , cranky or annoyed.tired or a bit spaced out well?.
it is usually as a result of a habit on of thing or another..that caused them to reflect an make the choice in the manner in which they did..out of old habit!..Habits of belief are also of the kind also …when fate – destiny – pomp – circumstance – being in the right or wrong place at the wrong er right time? ha…er jest plain un-awareness (ignorance) sumetimes…all also play a part in the picture show ya develop in ur mind..verses the ones that happen in real life that ya didn’t expect er whatnot..

One may recognize this craziness of the emotional weather in the mind an judge it, but i say try not to do that….some may have the impulses or urges to overeat, or to avoid certain things they have for years….facing the past an releasing it is good for the health; although holding onto the past full of resentments are sure killers an lead right back to the same problem that created the problem..the habit…whatevr it was… habitual thinking ..i call the thinkin’ dis ease..then habitual doing….. it is why many people fall apart at the seams when they really have it all together ..viewed frum another set of eyes…
what a lot of folks got to realize to me is that if they get rid of that judgemental part of the mind that wants to win over the holy spirit, (the ego)…a realization a day keeps the doc away i used to say…an i was always talking bout the mental doc….
once one realizes that what we pay mind to! makes up our mind with all things…TRULY!…

so point for the day is that if ya have certain things in ur mind that are always pushing ur buttons….well is like the storms that come an go …when they come ya jest got to hunker down an deal with it realistically an accept..the good bad an even horrible truths ya make up bout the event in ur mind….remember it is all bout perception!…EVERYTHING!….


result is; we change our perception (the way we lewk @ the werld) the world can an will change accordingly to our truest desires…it will inevitable unfold itself eventually to be what it is or is not for ur everness..4 evr er not….is a choice of the mind how we choose to perceive the world we live with in …an how we change it if we desire to change it…that is the world we live in..however it might be…
each an everyone’s experience will be the difference of tha same set of choices ultimately!…an ignorance is NO EXCUSE!
Also being too smart for the counselor is also not a good idea also…being the victim is the wrong answer also…jest being in truth with all things…well thats the hardest part most people have in accepting reality as to be what it is an what it is not….
So bottom line for me today is i have a choice to perceive things in the “light of love” or the “darkness of storms” is my choice how i choose to view a certain event place or person or happening in the world …past present or future! positive er negative – my choice! ur choice indeeD!

anyway think once think twice in an instant 2 make the correct choice an have a great day er night whatevr it is in ur part of the world..

Believe in the good thoughtZ! an remember a dream is a wish the heart makes ..SO???.

MAKE IT SO!

Please don’t make ur self ur own choice to remain in that ol’ thinkin disease 4 evr…not a good place to be..got to get back to my own motto Move forward without hesitation! to infinity an beyond!.

Release all the B.S. an even the important stuff that keeps ya frum being able to live @ they say in A.A. …don’t force nutin…but will it to be ..the good that ya been seeking towards for so long now…that goal is closer than ya think…More than a desire now it has an will become part of ur life to such a degree that well..simply said……because U want to live


Ya want to LIVE!!!
HappY Joyous an Free……….cuza ur “new Vision of” Ur NEW ” REALITY!”….same ol’ but jest a bit more refined an better ya see….life…..”one Day @ a Time”….w/remembrance!……….

………………………and “Beyond! :)”

peace out to one an all whom might come across the paradoxical Quisicale world of the Q 🙂

take care for now over an out!

The Last Waltz – Once Again part of Q’s Life

I Once uponn a tyme had the 8 tracks yeahhhaaa… an the original Vinyl of this adventure….

The Band – The Last Waltz – frum a concert get together to a major movie production…it was what it was….

One day once upon a tyme in the late 60’s a group of well know artists got together….
Eric Clapton – Neil Diamond – Bob Dylan Emmylou Harriss – Van Morrison – Ronnie Hawkins – Ringo Starr – Robbie Robertson Rick Danka – Levon Helm – Garlin Hudson – an Richard manuel…all names of the great in the day in the layte 60’s driving round the mountains an deserts of southern California in my gold an black Z-28 ..life was a blast for a time then…
Dr. John – The Staples – Muddy Waters – Paul Butterfield – Ron Wood……..they staged an awesome get together…an in the end it became a movie A Martin Scorsese Film….It Became well Known as the Historic Final Farewell Concert of “THE BAND” …..

The Band – The Last Waltz – Full Concert – 11/25/76 – Winterland (OFFICIAL)

Then Well.Bad things happened in my life an I didn’t listen to for a lotta years..it got shelved..till I could deal with the realities that surrounded those days of “THE LAST WALTZ” …so no further adoooo.if ya nevr heard of it or listed to them ..it is an is what it is an was what it was time of an within the life of Q here.enjoY!….no is a NEW LAST WALTZ to me an a totally NEW Perspective also …some 40 years laters.wow………how time flies when yer havin fun rasing a world an flyin an rydin’ my life away.wow.i say…wow those were the days.2 me…The newest LAST WALTZ i shall have is with a green eyed lady this time….Brings in the werd to be… ” infinity!

……..Quark’s Last Waltz 2 him is comin up…it’s inevitable…yep yep lol…

🙂

…..

Frum Wikipedia…

The Last Waltz is hailed as one of the greatest concert films ever made,[3] although it has been criticized for its focus on Robertson.[4]

The Last Waltz was a concert by the Canadian-American rock group the Band, held on American Thanksgiving Day, November 25, 1976, at Winterland Ballroom in San Francisco. The Last Waltz was advertised as the Band’s “farewell concert appearance,”[2] and the concert saw the Band joined by more than a dozen special guests, including Bob Dylan, Paul Butterfield, Neil Young, Emmylou Harris, Ringo Starr, Ronnie Hawkins, Dr. John, Joni Mitchell, Van Morrison, Muddy Waters, Ronnie Wood, Neil Diamond, Bobby Charles, The Staple Singers, and Eric Clapton. The musical director for the concert was the Band’s original record producer, John Simon.

The event was filmed by director Martin Scorsese and made into a documentary of the same name, released in 1978. Jonathan Taplin, who was the Band’s tour manager from 1969 to 1972 and later produced Scorsese’s film Mean Streets, suggested that Scorsese would be the ideal director for the project and introduced Robbie Robertson and Scorsese

For more: > https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Waltz

 

 

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BROUGHT 2 U 2 day by

Then Came da’ Internet

Then there was this thing called the internet! wow………..This is an awesome landmark lol…

I now have 900 posts an all on one web page imagine that…IT JEST GOES ON AN ON AN ON AN ON LOL…Quarksire.com LoL….

so becomes another long article by the Q…read it er not have a splendid day! Er eve’ dependin’ on what part of the world ya reside upon 🙂 ………. 🙂

Than there was the intranet…er internet! Er what ..oh ic …THE WEB!

🙂
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and the whole world changed overnight, has been quite a journey for all those old enuff to know…an remember the days of the black an white tv an tv antennas strung out all over the world on everyone’s houses…I saw it coming in the back of my mind an i did not invest? well got to let that go now…an let all the investments that i did have once upon a time also go..the successess that became a failure.
My problem is i out spend myself…. i was taught to do that ever since a kid…ok heres how the system werks..an ya borrow… got my furst real bank loan when i was like 13 an i was off an running lol…FOR MY FURST CAR A VOLKSWAGEN BUG I GOT FOR 400 BUCKS.
well many years later an i sit here an type as fast as i can think…but i do cheat i lewk at the keys…so anyhow..a lot of my errors in language that have become part of my particular language ..the language of the twisted Q well, comes frum where the keys are on the keyboard an jest went frum there once upon a time..lol
Back to that! yep ; so go with the flow..what a hard thing to do in todays fast paced werld, is amazing at how fast everything really does go…
Back; to the point …this internet thing, well is pert amazing thing that has happened in my lifetime an changed everything i ever thought bout destiny time an space also..in so many many ways…

Projekts galore but lewk at da happy place without boundries 🙂

The internet has brought me multitudes of acquaintances – good – bad – indifferent – ugly- an beautiful also; have quite a variety of people I would have never met without the net.
Because of the net i have had both good an bad things happen over the years…lol i owned a couple of domain names once upon a time that i gave up an well, years later became a hit. So ya never know..i had no clue simple words like that would make me rich?..well live an learn? i’m the kind of learn by fail a lot…is how i got to be good at riding my bike etc etc an flying etc etc is by failing, when ya do ya remember not to do that again an move forward without hesitation to get a better grip on whatevr it is ya are doin’….point is sumtimes repetition is is best left alone, thata way ya don’t keep learnin’ the wrong things over an over ? right, well an old man jimmy weldon once told me that ..(he was the voice of the little yeller duck once upon a time in cartoons, yaky-do-little, the duck that couldn’t find his mama:)  he used to give motivational speeches at seminars etc etc……anyhow. he said..move forward without hesitation…was his motto an also now mine to this very day…on the side cover of my motorcycle in chinese LOL the characters are kewl lewkin what can i say..it means moving forward without hesitation!…an the other side cover on the other side means infinity!….
Anyhow ..the internet has taken me to far lands, taken me to peru a few years back…an thats when i guess ya would say i found MYSELf an found out who i really was, an has ben a long journey evr since to try to heal the past in my body, havin a hard time with the pkd thing though it is hereditary an in the genetics,,,,an well is a terminal disease, an i have had a hard time coming to grips with that a lot over the past few years also..is what it is…life is terminal indeed…I jest want to extend mine a bit! Is all!
Anyhow The point of this blog is that i would not even be sitting right where i am right now if not for the internet!..an Dr. Royal Rife….In so many many ways it changed my destiny an fates etc etc …an changed my life, also has extended it …Because, ..it is because of this internet thing well, I have met a person that well, helps me emotionally an spiritually to stay alive an gives me something to look forward to every day…so for that I thank the internet…an pomp an circumstance an my higher power knowing what is right an correct an somehow sending me to this person….is perty amazing how the connections have happened over the years indeed because of this thing called the INTERNET or INTRANET! Q is ❤ 🙂  In love again because of he internet!…. 🙂

Anyhow right now, it appears it’s a rigged system to make evry0ne blame it on themselves an be in fear it is i tell ya…why that is i am not sure but is very prevalent in this werld we live in…so may thieves an liars etc etc…ya don’t really know who ya can trust these days…so many scams an versions of scams for $ also an so many people getting ripped off all the time cuz they are too dumb to know any better sorry to say but that is a fact…Phishing scams are the werst an people have to be very aware of that an malware also…viruses not so much anymore though….my rule there is if ya don’t want the virus don’t invite it in …Like the damn pneumonia shot they gave me that gave me the shit wtf?….an they want to give me a flu shot! lol…yeah lets see how tough ya are bud..well, it would prolly kill a guy like me now. So flu shots out of the question for this guy!

Back to the internet!….when the human mind catches up with quantum teck…then is when we will see lotsa overnight changes also, an that is not to distant in the future, as the Q here does know The matrix of the mind is pert much unexplored by most people! true story…how many people do u know are travelers, an play with in that sphere called the matrix – an yes very similar to the movies version!….So anyhow…thanks to the internet an Dr.Royal rife…i am here today to be able to type whatver it is i am about to type to ya here!…..an whats really weird bout it is in the end its so much about just remaining on the right frequency range for that which one is doing in life to make it happen….Survival for a while longer is my key as of late; although i know my time is limited if i do not get on dialysis soon and of also get a new used kidney soon also…any way i lewk at it i am a goner soon enuff…An well I love lIfe an Love who i have become also…cept for this dis-ease PKD..totally sucks…very few readers know what i am talking bout cuz it is a rare renal disease…but is horrendously painful …an not a fun way to pass the time after ur 45 er so….by the time ur 60 like me it has either kicked ur ass or ur dead, unless ya are on dialysis..or got a new kidney : an that might give me another 10 er so if i am lucky enuff 🙂
So; Thats totally amazing to me how destiny an time bends an things that were or could have been are not etc etc…i could write a book of stories bout how one drunk night changed the destiny an fate of everything that ever happened to me since, wow…but it did…an how being late by one minute changed everything once upon a time, or bout how being in the wrong place at the wrong time a lot gets one in trouble, another book to write there lol…i could spend the next 20 writing for fun i do so believe if the H.P. will jest allow that to happen…..

so i do not know how it will all come about really….lucky i am only moderately thousands in debt an owe less than 20, grand on my house! yeahaa…hoping i live to see the day when i get it paid off!.my mortgage..jeez..(Mortgage = death note) yep I guess huh!.is a struggle every month with this PKD thing going on now ….It has been like i have had the flu bout every 2 weeks for the past 7 er 8 years solid..truly sucks …comes an goes ya have ur good days an ya have ur bad….is not a fun cycle to get wrapped up in but is what it is…cuz the kidneys do not filter properly…well my creatinine level is 8.0 now has doubled in the last year an they usually have ya on dialysis before it gets to the point mine is at now….i am poisoned pert bad! so to speak…trying to keep it as clear as possible i am…wish i could jest become where i could live on water an air alone that’d be cool…but won’t happen….anyhow off subjekt now…is easy to do …but back to the point is what i hope to get or acquire because of the internet! who knows might even be a new kidney!….so only time will tell….
Just to keep my friends round the world bout 6 weeks later they can start dialysis to get my systems cleaned up….not sure how i am going to handle it financially to drive to durango 60 miles away 3 times a week for the next 6 months er what not without the income to support that!? so…………….don’t have a clue what the future will behold …but do know i am gettin tired of typing this an ur prolly gettin’ tired of readin’ me today if u subscribe to me by mail sorry for the long post-it…but i’m not really…..sorry is such a dreadful word ain’t it yep…got to stop using it…i do!

Anyhow grateful i do have readers that will read a post-it like this anyone with any great ideas for my continued existence on this planet please let me know…..

other than that take care allz.good night or good day wherever ya might be on this planet of ours!..

Q

Brought 2 u by da’ Quantum Quarked one Q

aka mike in colorful colorado!…that is when the snow melts.jeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Watz a Fistula? Q is asked

DA’ FISTULA PIC!..1st access failed..so second is where it is at..read on for more info…….

wats a fistula they say an ask to me all the time;? heres an explanation @ best @ possible for yaz..I also have been doing lotsa research…So frum what i have learnt bout my fistula is this…# 1 it hurts like a s.o.b. right now. But i will get over it eventually it will become part of my body…..but has only been a few days after the new setup has been done to my artery an my vein structure! . ….this is how it werks ….

A fistula is what your vascular surgeon constructs by “joining an artery to a vein”.


It keeps a direct opening to your veins. This allows an even greater amount of blood to pass through the vein and allows your dialysis to proceed efficiently. In the weeks after surgery, the fistula begins to mature. The vein increases in size and may look like a cord under your skin. The whole process of maturation, which is a beneficial feature that permits the blood flow to increase in the fistula, typically takes 3 to 6 months. Some fistulas may take as long as a year or more to develop fully, but this is unusual. Once matured, a fistula should be large and strong enough for dialysis technicians and nurses to insert the large dialysis needles easily. If it fails to mature in a reasonable period of time, however, you may need another fistula….hopefully that’s not the case for mikey here….

To perform the surgery, your physician joins a large vein under the skin to an artery nearby. The physician divides your vein and sews it to an opening made in the side of the artery. As a result, the blood flows down the arteries into the hand, as usual, and also some of this faster moving blood flows into the veins that lead back to your heart. The blood that normally traveled in your divided vein goes back to the heart through other veins, and there is usually plenty of blood remaining in your artery to supply your hand. Is why my left hand is tingling a lot an numb still in the fingers cuz some circulation has been robbed i guess….doc says it is not enuff to matter ..so okay…

Hemodialysis cleans blood by removing it from the body and passing it through a dialyzer, or artificial kidney. The dialyzer is a filter with two parts: one for blood and another for dialysis fluid, called dialysate. The filter between these two parts has very small pores, allowing some tiny particles to pass through. The particles that are filtered include the toxins that need to be removed from the body such as urea, creatinine and potassium, while larger blood cells and protein the body needs cannot pass through. The filtered blood is then returned to the body.

The process of removing blood from the body, filtering it and returning it takes time. Hemodialysis treatment usually takes three to five hours and is repeated three times a week.

The type of access a person has is important for getting the best dialysis possible. There are three types of access: catheter, arteriovenous (AV) graft and arteriovenous (AV) fistula..and well i got the fistula in my left arm…They were going to put it i by my wrist but after the furst incesion the main vein collapsed an they had to move the spot toinside my elbow….

Arteriovenous (AV) fistula for hemodialysis

A fistula used for hemodialysis is a direct connection of an artery to a vein. Once the fistula is created it is a natural part of the body. This is the preferred type of access because once the fistula properly matures and gets bigger and stronger; it provides an access with good blood flow that can last for decades. Yeahaa lol…. After the fistula is surgically created, it can take weeks to months before the fistula matures and is ready to be used for hemodialysis. People with kidney disease can do exercises including squeezing a rubber ball to strengthen the fistula before use.
Fistula — the gold standard access…they gave me a kidney to squeeze…an said it was okay to excercize my wrist with the clutch lever on morotcycle ..so kewl 🙂 @ least sumptin is werkin right…

The National Kidney Foundation (NKF), Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), DaVita Patient Citizens (DPC) and other organizations and experts generally agree that fistulas are the best type of vascular access. Low rates of complications, clotting and infection all contribute to the fistula’s reputation as the “gold standard” of vascular access.

Dialysis experts also generally agree that the safest and longest lasting of the access types is the AV fistula. Because a fistula is made by connecting a vein to an artery, the vein becomes bigger allowing for increased blood flow. The fistula is created from natural parts of the body and can be repeatedly “stuck” to perform hemodialysis treatments.

A fistula is the “gold standard” because:

It has a lower risk of infection than grafts or catheters
It has a lower tendency to clot than grafts or catheters
It allows for greater blood flow, increasing the effectiveness of hemodialysis as well as reducing treatment time
It stays functional for longer than other access types; in some cases a well-formed fistula can last for decades
Fistulas are usually less expensive to maintain than synthetic accesses

While the AV fistula is the preferred access, there are some people who are unable to have a fistula. If the vascular system is greatly compromised, a fistula may not be attempted. Some people have had fistulas surgically created, but the fistula never matured; therefore, could not be used. Some of the drawbacks of fistulas are:

A bulge at the access site that some people feel is unattractive, well no matter 2 me…
Taking several months to mature…okay as long as it werks…
Sometimes never maturing at all…praying for mine to mature properly! is all i can do an by the looks an feel of it it is progressing jest fine.

so this is supposed to be much better than the old skewl method used in the 70’s..catheters an older teck in machinery also ..the dialysis units themselves are light years above the ones of the 80’s etc etc…..

the next 4-6 weeks are weeks for healing 4 me 🙂 an affirmation for me…an Prayers that my fistula keeps functioning properly an matures as it is supposed to…typing on the keyboard here is quite a werkout for the left arm really…so i have to take it bit at a time right now ..little steps..yeah baby steps..

also, is a matter of somehow pulling together the resources i need to fix my transportation an set up an gear up my life for trips 3 times a week 120 miles round trip when that time comes….@ soon as the fistula is healed …an ready to use….something like the pic below will be my home 3 times a week 4 hrs plus each visit…Guess i will get a lotta reading done! and or spend those 4 hours in lala land as my meditation time 3 times a week 🙂 however it be will be something i have to do ..do doubt about it an no fail…? is for me is how to get to there frum here is all…when everything takes cash an ya live on a limited income an ya have sold most evrything ya can that would get ya by into the future…….
To check see that my fistula is werking properly i have to check a few times a day to make sure i can feel the “THRILL” lol …the pulse ya can feel in the fistula …lets ya know it is werking properly…is weird feeling ur heartbeat as a vib in ur left arm…an they call it the “THRILL?” listening to ur own beat…wunder what doc came up with calling it that…..

Anyhow is what it is… I am healing frum ..having the fistula Installed…..and am looking forward to the day actually when i can plug in an start getting my blood filtered properly! once again…an getting back to feeling “normal” whatevr that is ..been a lotta years lol…so the next 6 weeks is about staying alive without having my blood filered an having the toxins build up as they do evr so often…over an over it has been happening for years,, an even though my motto is crashing is not an option? well i crash evr so often cuz my body gets finally toxic an i go down for the count till they stabalize my blood again ussually with a jar er 2 of saline.. because i get also de hydrated …when i crash..an my bp goes sky high……docs are trippin though ..cuz i am able to keep a grip now on my B.P> Blood pressure…which has been in the dangerous level for quite some time..well, i have stabalized it to almost normal…last reading the other day was 130 over 70..bout time …usually i am in the 140’s to the 90 or more @ a norm…….so is good for me to get it down …

Okay take care everyone…Hope this article here was educational to ya if ya never knew what a fistula was….thats what the Q is going thru.whoo hoo…..yeahaa huh! .such @ life .HA!….
PS: THERE ARE many different kinds of kindey malfunctions an disease…the kind i have affects approximately 1 in 600,000 people….so is not that common..but world wide that adds up to a lotta people suffering like me to the same degree or werse…so my prayers for all of them for whatevr its werth ..still everyone goes PKD WHAT never heard of it?….wow is all i can say…jest another day …been kickin my arse down for over 10 years now it has been ..this PKD!…
Next great adventure is i gotta go get a brainscan mri to check see if i have any unruptured anuyersisms …which i am thinking of opting out of because well if i did have any unruptured ones i would have head aches like my dad did…which i did not have? so I don’t think i need to get radiated thata way unless there is a problem..cuz the radiation itself could even cause a prob…when they say that 60% of all cancers of the 20th century exist because of abnormal radiation like X-rays inapproitely directed etc etc…so this one will be ? A question in the mind of Q for the future…
Right now time to heal an get better! an make this fistula thing werk ..an help the “team” they are going to assemble for em to implant a new kidney when the time can come …a few years over due they say they are for me but they are going to go for it anyhow…since now i have the Medicare to pay for it …ha all bout $$$$ yeah right they wouldn’t help me years ago cuz i had no insurance or medicare…but my doc did help me get on disability which took years ..but that barely covers living expenses…so what does one do asks the Q..hm? will keep ya posted! Namaste’ …an over an out till then…………………

Q
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if ya want to read the rest of the original inspiring article click here…below
https://www.davita.com/kidney-disease/dialysis/treatment/arteriovenous-av-fistula-%2597-the-gold-standard-hemodialysis-access/e/1301

Know thyself – cuz Ya Never Know!

moving-forward
  So whats the point he said she said??? there are 2 many points to this subjekT! lol.
although it is mostly bout what one loves…whatevr that is!…

Ten years ago i loved what i thought was an angel ? only to find out after months that the angel loved the devil more than life itself…what do i mean buy the devil..”D evil” well to me definition of EVIL is simply ..anything that is opposite to LIVE in thinking..an well the “devil;” lol..has to be …against lived.or da’ live…….

then 3 years laters the same kind of scenario trips up my life to no end….by another so-called angel, one i have a hard time forgiving for not being an honest human an taking me for Time, energy, money, direction and sending me into a downward spiral emotionally for years! 😦 Yeah that was love ……I am still today at this moment paying for that wunderful adventure….guess i was cheap entertainment 4 a year o the internet, an a few months sex for her…whatevr is all i can say now…cuz i have to accept that there are people who are against live….an all out for themselves in evry way? money wise though being the most important to these kinda lovers it is more important than all the fears that they behold in life$$$$…..so much for angels…..
So, point of this is one thing . “YA NEVER KNOW” bout anything or anybody really truly.i did not choose for them to be selfish or greedy or to rip me off for cash an time an life an emotions whatever 4?..or do ya bout them?..? or do we jest have to make better choices? wtf? i do not know what the answer is but my present relationship does not exhibit or even come close to or have any tendencies to be against live…an definitely is not against lived, because her lived is what makes her that person that she is today!…..

well one in many millions to me my lady is…nothing of the sort or kind against live…wtf for she says…why be against ur life? an if ya are well ur close to suicide…i guess…anyhow an against live Evil…why be that now when what we have lived brought us to be who we are today? why join up with the “devil” against lived an whom is Evil? …..what on earth for really? $$$$$ in the end with these greedy selfish people…they do not care what the causal effects of their taking frum u for their own personal benefit…very cold an self centered in my book of life ..unto death when we part! yep!…as they walk round talking bout how they notice all the self centered people etc etc? like wtf..Hippocratic to the max i see in so many people these days…hurting on others? finding humor in it an then saying they are innocent in all their false judgements an taking frum ya?…

BACK 2 the POINT! YA NEVER KNOW!….I simply want to live an love …simple right…..LIFE!

what is it ya never know…well, lotsa things in this life of pomp an circumstance, good choices vs. bad etc etc fate er destiny? which is it an why? YA WILL PROLLY never know where ya come frum really….other than jest one thing really …love an desire to live! that’s bout it!…other than that ya prolly will never know ? when fate ? destiny? luck bad er good? or pomp or circumstance by being in the wrong place at the wrong time??? Fact; some things an people in my life will be part of my infinity 4 one reason er another!

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WELL? YA NEVR KNOW …BOUT ANY OF THAT IT JEST IS WHAT IT IS AN WILL BE WHAT IT IS ALSO? MY point is a LOT OF IT IS SIMPLY ABOUT CHOICE; why should human being be so inconsiderate to others as to take a child of theirs away frum them an not ever let that child see them after 6 years of life? moving to another part of the state? an disappear…but on the back side of life stalk ya for $$$?.an reprogram the child with nonsense!….why would sumeone go nuts an kill my lady and her father an rape her an steal car an money an drive off 500 miles away to then kill a group of 4 in a campground ???wtf? then when they find this guy an pull him over he puts his cig out in the middle of his forehead? before they take him off to jail? nope he wasn’t drunk or on drugs either ..jest a crazy who should not have been let out on parole but was an ex-murder who should have never been let out? as far as i am concerned in the furst place ..system failure to me…an welp is bout it..the whole good system is collapsing upon itself cuza the bad? is a trip how society as a whole don’t want to get a grip an get along, truly sad really……so wtf is what i am saying to U today is ya NEVER KNOW when shit will or can happen in ur life…My experience though is that if ya fear the crazy people they will be attracted to ya…so HAVE NO FEAR! ..most important though is one has to KNOW THYSELF an be able to get a grip when crazy shit does happen in their life…….
Why would someone intoxicated to the max choose to take a drive with the 4 year old in the car to the races! lol. such alcoholic stupity auctually!..@ well @ i know by personal experience an everyones is different because of choices of habits..once again i choose today LOVE instead of fear!..(an alcoholism).(escapisms) an ism’s in general!
but really ! Ya NEVER KNOW ..either after the habits ya might choose in life what will become of it or because of the HABIT! everything bout ya changes 4 ever…cosmic cosmology in a sense to me is where one recognizes that happening in their life! that is to be lived! once ya turn round ur perception and analysis an stop being a selfish human as the doers that hurt ya well, ya see the HABITS one chooses are of most important to their very own existence an life itself! in all and every ways everything is bout HABIT! an choosing the correct ones…ya only got so much room in ur brain an so much time in ur life so depending upon the HABITS u choose is what will become the outcome in this standpoint alone…..

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So on that note well, i have in my lifetime learned to choose certain habits that were good for me rather than badhabits that were good for me rather than bad! habits like my addiction to flying, driving, Riding an experiencing FUN things….an doing my photography,..to old to scare the shit out of myself an rock climb though lol…been there done that badge..an i got hurt more than once doing it…so having an addictive personality an having healthy habits is a good thing! in Q’s book of life….over the years i have traded my BAD habits for so called better or gooder habits lol…as a child would say!…an for that fact i am grateful ..i have chosen to not disengage frum my personal reality anymore..which i did every day 4 about 26 years as a functioning alcoholic an businessman in the worlds workforce…if i would have continued that HABIT of drinking i would have killed my self or another doing it …having to come to terms with that an quit was hard..very hard…but well, i am alive today because i do not drink..an as a result i can still fly my ultralight or drive my car or ryde my motorcycle to my hearts delight @ long @ i don’t get sick over my latest adventure with dis-ease an the bodys malfunction.my (PKD)..so is a dna flip and a genetic flaw they say that causes mine…as with many debilitating diseases, they are all jest a genetic flip…with different causes of symptom in different places based upon the flip…for 10 years now i have had my kidneys failing in a bad way an knew it ..they the kidneys in my abdomen are bout 4 times the size of the normal persons kidneys..maybe 5…covered with polycysts they are…an the cycts are spread all over in my abdomen also???oh did i say it hurts? …well has come to the point of dialysis…in my werld…an thats a whole nother post it…
THE point of this post it was to give preponderance to the fact that well….YA NEVER KNOW! ….bout anything really or anybody! as la live learn an grow ya know better..but that does not save ya frum the THEN…an point of that is ya forgive the THEN so ya can live in the now! even if someone ya knew 5 10 er 20 years ago is still negatively affecting ur mind with negative energy 😦

IT’S ALL IN UR MIND YES INDEED!!!!
SO KEEP THE GOOD, IS ALL I CAN SAY….when in recovery..because…

YA NEVR KNOW!…….

all i can say is one should always keep hope in their higher power within themselves to pull them thru if they really want to get thru it..it is really tough ? indeed it is a lot to accept that some people are simply selfishly programmed an so addicted to their programming that they will never change…bred by fear live by fear so to say….therefore that is not love an my objektive as of late is one thing LOVE….an well till i die i am going to live my very own version of the great american dream…an hopefully fly an ryde an well, live an have fun with my love, an simply experience a few good fun things in life instead of focusing on the bad an the past …

CUZ YA KNOW WHAT FOLKS “IT JEST IS WHAT IT IS “! WHAT EVER IT IS NOW…..GOT TO ACCEPT THAT AN MOVE ON FRUM THERE.

OVER AN OUT FRUM THE Q